Who Does He Think I Am?

Harrison caught a skipjack, a fish that isn't all that good to eat, so our friend

Bill, on Iron Maiden, threw it at the sea lions. This short story is told from the

alpha sea lion's perspective.

I was swimming peacefully in the bay as three dinghies and a kayaker drove up. One of the dinghies had a fish. I could smell it. I wanted it. But, I realized it was a stupid skipjack, not my favorite, but it would do. What could be better than free food? But, as the polite creature that I am, I let him keep it. As the alpha male of my pack I made sure nobody took it either. Feeling that my duty was done, I swam to shore.

Then - get this - he threw the fish at me! He THREW it! He didn't hand it to me. He didn't place it in the water. He THREW it to shore! What does he think I am? An animal?

They stared at us, like we were in a zoo. I've already been tagged and I didn't like it. I definitely don't want to be in captivity. And here I felt like I was. I didn't like it. So, I changed my act from polite, cute, and cuddly to a big, strong party pooper. I stared them down and didn't even glance at the fish. When the pups came to try to eat it, I barked at them to scare them away, and they waddled off. I didn't want to give the boaters a show. That would teach that man some manners!

The boaters didn't seem to want to leave, so I got in the water and swam away to my favorite rock. I didn't like to walk. Then they finally started to leave. Yes! But as they left, the pups started to nibble on the fish. So, the boaters got a show after all! Ugh! I should've stolen stolen it from him at the start after all! That would've shown him!