Paradise Shattered by 10-Day Cleanse

We are currently anchored off the Tamarindo Resort at the very south end of Tenacatita Bay.  If I thought that other places along the way were paradise, I was wrong.  This is it.  Gorgeous homes and bungalows for rent at a high price, gorgeous grounds, gorgeous pool, great (but PRICEY food) and nothing to do but relax.  There are hammocks and hammock beds through out the grounds.  And there is barely anyone here.  This is where I want to come when I want peace and tranquility in my vacations.

Did I say the food was great?  I actually wouldn’t know much about the food.  I’m on Day 9 of a 10 day cleanse.  The Master Cleanse.  The cleanse to end all cleanses.  The drink-only-lime-juice-mixed-with-water-maple-syrup-and-cayenne cleanse.  And try-to-fit-in-3-to-4-bowel-movements-(NOT)-in-between-with-the-help-of-herbal-laxatives cleanse.  The create-a-situation-in-which-you-alienate-your-entire-family-with-your-bitchiness cleanse.  No food.  Oh, but you can also indulge in herbal teas if you want some variety.  How thoughtful.

I decided to do a cleanse to see if it will help my headaches, migraines, food sensitivities, bloating, constipation (see blog It's Time to Address the Stick), and other maladies I tend to kvetch about.  What better time to attempt this experience when you have no work responsibilities.

For the first three days, I thought I was dying.  I had no desire for food because I was nauseous all the time, and felt fluish.  I wondered if this is what chemo felt like. But I kept at it.  Day four I awoke feeling energetic and good.  Michael has stepped up and helped with most meal prep, and for the most part, I use meal times as alone time since it’s a bit too hard to watch people eat really good meals (actually, any meal looks good), and too hard to smell it.  I have definitely lost the bloatedness, so that I am no longer being mistaken for a pregnant woman, but I don’t know if I’ve lost pounds as I don’t have a scale.  Actually, other than the bitchiness, it hasn’t been all that bad. 

And bitchiness has been a HUGE problem.  Beginning Day 6 of the cleanse, the spelling of my name has changed from Barb to capital B-I-T-C-H.  I have ragged on my kids about school, about chores, about  just about everything except breathing (wait, I complained about bad breath).  Michael has been pretty patient with me, bless him, until he lost it with me yesterday.  They say that there are some side effects with the cleanse, including Irritability. No shit.  And it’s a full moon.  Harrison actually asked me to please stop using swear words.   

As an aside, they also say that the cleanse will bring up interesting things over its course.  For example, people who haven’t smoked for 20 years may taste nicotine in their mouths, as their body’s tissues rid themselves of all the toxins.  I had an interesting experience on Day 3:  My right hip was really aching me and I couldn’t get comfortable as I slept.  I couldn’t figure out what I’d done to have it ache, and then I realized: I had injured it in a bike accident in 1996.  Maybe it was just cleaning itself out? Not sure if it’s just pure coincidence, but I guess it’s possible that the two are related, no?

Anyhow, yesterday, after an early morning blow out over homeschooling, or chores, or who knows what, I went to shore to do some yoga led by my friend and yoga instructor Tammy Finnerty (s/v Santosha).  We started with a  silent meditation walk along the beach followed by a meditation in which Tammy did a great job guiding us through intention-setting.  It was at that time that I reconnected with my Future Self (how I see myself in 20 years – designed through a coaching exercise I do with clients and have had done to me – my Future Self is my most positive self, with all the traits I value, and it can be quite a powerful tool in overcoming just about anything you need to overcome).  I was able to return to the boat in true calm and patience, and the kids and I had a great rest of the afternoon.  Michael, however, needed more time and personal  space, and who can blame him? My apologies felt so empty given that I keep going back to the same yuckiness.  I’m hoping my Future Self will help me through these last couple of days of this cleanse.

Our 15th wedding anniversary is today, and all is peaceful on the homefront.  But I still can’t wait to eat some vegetables.

-Barb in Tenacatita Bay
Anchored off the Tamarindo Resort
Latitude: 19 degrees 15.698 minutes North
Longitude: 104 degrees 48.124 minutes West