To Kill a Cockroach

We are apparently lucky that it’s taken over nine months for us to be visited by a cockroach.  Cockroaches are a fact of sailing life, and we hold our breath as the threat of finding one looms over our heads. I keep my  boat as clean as possible, sweeping and vacuuming every day and keeping our food closed up and inaccessible.  In addition, I keep all cardboard off my boat, as, I understand, cockroaches love the glue, and/or like to lay their eggs in corrugated cardboard.  However, cockroaches are known to roam the docks of all marinas, and they climb up the lines that tie your boat to the docks.  Often, boaters place foil cake pans with a hole cut in the middle of them onto their lines to stop cockroaches in their tracks.  Others use what is known as China Chalk, a deadly poison for cockroaches which is placed around entry points on your boat where cockroaches are bound to go.

While Michael was away on his Soggy Duck trip (21st annual), I was left to run the ship, so to speak, with two other wives, and four kids aboard.  As Sue and I were cutting salad for dinner, Monica entered the galley (kitchen) and excitedly stated that there was a cockroach in the cockpit.  I ran out, and the two of us tried to locate it, not quite sure what we were going to do once we found it.  Sue then came out to join us.  Every time we moved something in the cockpit, the cockroach darted out quickly to find another hiding spot.  Monica jumped and shrieked with each scurry.  Sue started shouting to the kids to get something to catch it in.  I’m handed a cup.  We finally catch the roach by placing the cup over it.  Now what???

Sue tells the kids to get a flat cutting board which we slide under the cup.  In the meantime, Sophie, Monica’s seven-year-old daughter, started screaming, “I’M NOT SLEEPING ON THIS BOAT ANYMORE. I’M NOT SLEEPING ON THIS BOAT ANYMORE.”  Monica, herself taking deep breathes to calm herself, is trying to calm her daughter.  I then ask for a knife.  "What are you going to do with a knife?", Sue asked perplexed.  "I have no clue," I respond.  But when Monica comes out carrying the huge knife that Sue was using to cut the salad,  I say simply, “But that’s the salad knife.”  We were laughing so hard that we couldn’t breath. 

Sue then politely tells me she cannot kill the cockroach.  Of course, neither can I.  So we send Harrison and Danielle down to the dock with the cup held in place by the cutting board, and this huge knife.  The women couldn’t look, but Harrison and Danielle bravely slaughtered the bugger.  They cut off its head and sent it into the ocean.

Ridiculously, this was a highlight of our weekend together.  Many laughs followed.  Girlfriend time cannot be beat. And we haven't seen a cockroach since.  I hope we get to wait at least another nine months for that one.

-Barbara (still in La Paz)